November 13, 2007

obsessions

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The first part of this isn't really about obsession, but rather the overwhelming love that is consuming me at the moment. Perhaps it's those pregnancy hormones again. Or maybe it's the process of becoming a mother. Suddenly savouring each and every moment I have with J, Bailey, Oscar and littleone has become so important, so essential. Much time has been spent reflecting upon the amazing things they give me each day :: the support, the love, the comfort, the smiles, the kicks {littleone}, the cuddles {bailey} + the bites {oscar}*. Just when I think I can't love J any more than I already do, he does something even more endearing or unexpectedly lovely. Like singing to littleone and kissing 'the belly' every night before bed. Or battling traffic and driving all the way to Santa Monica, just so I could go to wildfiber and buy some wool - I should mention that this was his idea, with no hints being dropped by me - he was worried that I don't get to do as many of the things I like to do anymore and wanted to spend his day off 'making me happy'. When we got home, he wound all of the skeins of koigu with my swift {he won't admit it, but secretly he loves doing this, partly because he bought it for me and partly because it's a 'cool-looking contraption'}. He also suggested that he take me to superbuzzy in Ventura on the weekend, so I can treat myself to some fabrics and books for making littleone's clothes. This is in addition to all of his 'new' responsibilities :: the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the shopping, the dog-walking, the kitty-litter, the ice-cream fetching, the doctors' appointments, the back-massaging, the preparing of warm baths {something I could do for myself, but when he does it, he always lights candles and uses my favorite lavender bath salts, which makes me smile to no end}, the picking up of anything that falls on the floor {something I really can't do anymore, unless I want to fall over}...pretty much everything. Did I mention that he's also becoming an expert in 'hot stone therapy'? He warms up polished river rocks {not too hot, of course} and makes a pattern on the small of my back...which, although it does soothe the aching, is worth it just to see the care he puts into the process :)

*okay, maybe the bites aren't 'amazing' in the true sense of the word - but Oscar is very much J's buddy and only wants to be near me when I let him knead my neck, accompanied by rough kitty licks and bites

So, on to the real obsessions now...planning littleone's wardrobe is providing me with more amusement than you can imagine and is serving as a very good distraction from everything else that is happening {mmm...no comment}, although I'm worried I'm getting a little carried away.

I've never sewn clothing before {nevermind tiny clothing} but have decided it's about time that I learned. So after studying Sew-U very intently for several hours and creating a smaller, more baby-sized dress pattern {the original was from Handmade Girls Clothing}, I pulled out some muslin and practiced. I loved every minute of it. The satisfaction of seeing it come together much faster than anything I have ever knit. Taking time to make the perfect seams. Realizing the possibilities. Compulsively, and perhaps somewhat frantically, a series of dresses and tops were sketched, and the perfect fabrics were selected, but not ordered. That's when my restraint kicked in.

Or perhaps it was the idea of making a collection of dresses/tops with coordinating handknits that stopped me in my tracks.

Yet more sketching. And more selecting, but not ordering. Then came the decision that every collection needs some basic pieces to layer with. Things that can't be made by me. Simple white and black tops, with leggings...yes, black or grey leggings {it may be too bold of me to ask for charcoal leggings}. Surprisingly hard to find in sizes 0-12 months. Lots of pink sparkly ones, though. Hmmm. Some more searching {black + white leggings/tops found - but not grey :: american apparel, pokkadots and babycenter}. During this search, I discovered Imps & Elfs, a designer of very modern childrenswear with an amazing selection of basics. Don't be disconcerted by the animation, just click on the heading and then explore the different collections. I especially fell in love with a grey dress {#72G637 from the fall collection for newborns on their site} that would look adorable with black leggings.

Enter yet another obsession - the idea that a garment can start out as one thing {a dress} and can later be worn as something else {a top} - a particularly useful trait since babies tend to grow so quickly. Inspiration strikes yet again. Simple lines, soft yarn, 3/4-length sleeves, room to grow...a sweater-like-dress, perhaps? Something that I can't find a pattern for, of course. But I did find a very cute photo of something similar. This idea needs some more time to flourish, I think.

In between all of this, there was a trip to wildfiber {as mentioned at the beginning of this incredibly long post - yikes - sorry! can you see that this is no longer a problem?} that resulted in the purchase of koigu, which doesn't quite fit in with the plans discussed above, but is lovely nevertheless. I couldn't resist buying the color in the photo above - mostly because I fell in love with these stunning socks and was so surprised they had the same color in stock. More photos/details of the damage here. The trip to superbuzzy was postponed because I'd like to get another Japanese pattern book for making little one's clothes, but can't decide which to get - do you have a favorite one? And has anyone tried to re-size the patterns to make them smaller? The way that I did it seemed to work, but in an almost 'too easy' way.

Whew, that was A LOT. And now I'm hungry. Again.

November 02, 2007

a quiet, calm bailey-boo + a not so calm littleone

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I just wanted to say thank you for everyone's warm wishes for our little nephew + his surgery :: he seems to be doing just fine now, although we wish we didn't live so far away so we could visit him.

Many things remain unanswered regarding our situation and we're hoping we'll have some clarity soon. This whole thing seems to be taking it's toll on Bailey, too. She really hasn't been herself lately, poor little girl. She has slept under a blanket on the sofa since first thing this morning and won't move, even at the suggestion of a treat or a walk. Normally we have to refer to these things as you-know-what's because if we don't she howls and jumps with such uncontrollable excitement. She just turned three and we've noticed that her face is becoming a little grey so maybe she's just getting older and calmer. A little sooner than we expected, but as long as she is happy + knows how much she is loved, it's okay with us.

Now only if the other little girl in my life would be a little calmer! Its like she's determined to kick my belly button out from the inside...or perhaps the scot in her has decided to take up highland dancing :) She doesn't seem to sleep...ever...and she's getting so strong that her kicks take me by surprise and with such force that they're generally accompanied with a loud 'owwww!!'...but kicking is good, right?

still on the needles :: squishy, red knitting

pay-it-forward :: the results

the pay-it-forward participants {the first three commenters} are ::

beautifullyurban

sally :: shim + sons

mefuza :: sisal factory

and after doing a quick pull-a-name-out-of-a-hat draw at noon, the lucky *something extra* person is ::

tania :: chocolate a chuva

i can't wait to send a little something handmade to the four of you and i'm really looking forward to seeing what you send to the people on your list, or in tania's case, what random act of kindness she performs! i am very desperately trying to resist the urge to send something to everyone that commented {which i would really *love* to do}, but i have a feeling my hands may be a somewhat full over the next 363 days :) nevertheless, i will come up with another giveaway at some point...you know, just to spread the love a little further :)

October 31, 2007

pay it forward :: update

yay! i have three people to participate in the pay-it-forward exchange!
i completely forgot to mention that i'll randomly pick the *something extra* person from the comments at noon {pst} on friday, november 2, 2007 :: so leave a comment before then and you'll be in the running :)

spreading a little love :: pay it forward

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:: reading about the work of some of my favorite artists|designers|creators being copied and noticing some other negative criticisms floating around online :: some interesting developments regarding our situation and lots of deliberation|discussion|planning :: add in some pregnancy hormones {read: feeling delicate and extra-sensitive}, a very late night {it's almost 2:00 am} and lots of time spent thinking of our little nephew who is due to have surgery tomorrow :: results in the need to spread some love, especially to those who have been so patient and supportive over the past couple of months ::

and in order to spread some *online love*, i jumped at the chance to take part in the pay-it-forward gift exchange - not only will melissa from one door down be sending me a little handmade something {which i am so excited about, i love her gorgeous baby knits}, but i get to spoil three of you with some handmade goodies, too.

:: the rules ::

*i will send a handmade gift to the first three people who leave a comment here requesting to join this pay it forward exchange. i don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days, that is my promise! the only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog*

:: something extra ::

i am also going to randomly select a fourth person to send something to, so you don't have to worry if you aren't the first, second or third to comment - there is still a chance :) since this person will be randomly selected, they will not be obligated to participate in the 'pay-it-forward' exchange {perhaps they could opt to commit a random act of kindness for someone in their day-to-day life instead}

also...i'd love for the packages to arrive unexpectedly, so i'm not going to set a time limit other than what is outlined in the rules...although i most definitely won't be procrastinating for 364 days :)

October 25, 2007

the knitting + the sewing

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{with my feet up}

some perspective

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{thank you}

:: for all of your comforting words, in response to my last post, as well as during these past few months ::

Some perspective has been gained. While sitting in the car, on the I-5 freeway, the skies glowing orange and black {the fires came within a mile or two of our house and although we weren't under mandatory evacuation, we left because the smoke became unbearable}.

The prospect of having placenta previa and a slightly more complicated pregnancy isn't so scary on it's own...it carries a risk of being problematic, but may resolve in time...by being very careful + resting I can lower the risk...for this, I am very thankful. What makes it frightening is that we are so far from our friends + family, in a country that is familiar, but also very, very different. To say there are a lot of questions swirling around in our heads is an understatement. It is at these moments when we realize that we are not at home. The private health care system is foreign to us and putting a price on health|life is a concept I simply cannot get my head around. It is the reality of living in the US, but it is not our reality. Or maybe we just haven't accepted it yet. The idea that help is not just around the corner, but rather in another country or on the other side of the world is another scary reality that we're faced with. What if we were to go home, surrounded by loved ones, wrapping ourselves in the cocoon of all that is familiar? Is that the answer?

Today we received a letter. The official quote from the health insurance company :: $669/month to insure myself and littleone with the most basic coverage available, a deductible of $1500 and a copay of $30.00 per visit. Switching companies is complicated as we are not considered residents {we are 'temporary legal aliens'} and this quote is unaffordable for us. Perhaps this will be what determines everything.

While we have gained some perspective, there are still so many questions, so many unknowns that are out of our control, so many factors to be considered. Hoping there will be some clarity soon...until then, I am going to knit. And sew. With my feet up, of course.

:: my heart goes out to all those who have lost their lives, their homes in the devastation of these fires - a stark reminder of the power of nature {wildfires} and of man {arson}::

October 18, 2007

the view from here

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as i type this :: afternoon sunshine streaming through the living room windows, curled up in my corner of the sofa, wearing my favorite maternity jeans and a comfy new top, sipping lemon tea, littleone kicking gently {for once}, bailey whimpering quietly in her sleep, thinking this may not be so bad afterall...

Slowing down that is...on doctor's orders. Yesterday I found out I have placenta previa which, if not resolved over next four weeks, may complicate my pregnancy {bed rest or perhaps even hospitalization for the rest of my pregnancy, a chance of pre-term labour and an emergency c-section}. So I may be spending a lot of time on the sofa over the next little while...crossing my fingers that the rest helps...and hopefully finishing some knitting for littleone. Speaking of finishing...

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littleone's first knit :: simple grey cardigan
pattern :: organza-edged cardigan from 'special knits' by debbie bliss, in the 6-9 month size
wool :: rowan classic baby alpaca DK in color 'southdown' {shade 208} | an incredibly soft wool that is luxurious to knit with and feels even softer after blocking
needles :: US 5
notes on pattern :: used moss/seed stitch for borders instead of garter stitch | opted for a single shell button closure instead of using organza trim | sleeves seem a little short, perhaps they'll be 3/4 length?

Despite all temptation to go with the wrong side {and changing my mind several times}, I decided to keep the knit side out. Not that I needed another reason to use the rest of my baby alpaca dk for littleone {originally intended for the hourglass}, but can a girl really have too many soft, cozy cardigans or sweaters in the loveliest grey colour? Probably not. I'm thinking a kimono-style top in a smaller size {3-6 months} to capture the lovely texture of the purl side paired with shell buttons.

And then maybe a shrug, in a larger size {9-12 months} for wearing with a simple white dress or a white t-shirt and the cutest denim bloomers {purchased for $6 from babyGap, along with the denim skirt pictured above, also $6}.
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{baby shrug from 'simply baby' by debbie bliss}
Can you tell that littleone's wardrobe is providing me with much amusement? :)

October 15, 2007

update :: disposables vs. reusables

I just updated yesterday's post. I can't believe I forgot to include the 'make your own' option! I also messed up the html and somehow managed to turn all of the text into italics, as well as the sidebar, so I'll be doing some re-formatting later on tonight - hopefully this won't mean that you'll get tons of test posts in your bloglines...and apologies if you do :)

October 14, 2007

blog action day :: disposable vs. reusable

Bloggers Unite - Blog Action Day

I can't remember when or where I first heard about blog action day, but I remember thinking that it would be incredibly interesting to see so many people post about something as essential to all of our lives as the environment. And with such a broad spectrum of current environmental issues, it's an overhwelming task to find just one topic to post about. So while I'm not intending to turn the dotted line into a blog exclusively about pregnancy and our first steps into parenthood, these are things that are undeniably and unavoidably on my mind all-of-the-time and they influence my thoughts on so many different issues in ways that I never imagined possible. The state of our planet is no different and to be honest, it is something that I've been thinking about a lot these days :: trying to make environmentally-conscious decisions has become a very relevant part of getting ready for littleone to enter our lives and it has taken on an importance that can only be explained by wanting to preserve what is left, for her and all the other littleones out there. I can't help but feel sad that whenever we walk on the beach, we come home with thick patches of tar and oil all over our feet and legs, undoubtedly coming from the oil rigs in the distance. And I don't want to go into detail about the dead dolphin we came across, since I can obviously make no claim about the cause of death, but it was a stark and extremely visual reminder of the lives that are lost due to an unhealthly environment.

I realize that I'm being totally hypocritical because I know I could do more than just recycle and walk everywhere, and admittedly, there are a lot of environmental issues that I'm unaware of and have not actively tried to educate myself about. However, I am of the mind-set that each little action counts and while I may not be perfect, I am going to try, try to be a little more aware and a little more willing to change. Which brings me to the environmentally-conscious | parenting decision that we are currently contemplating :: reusable vs. disposable diapers {or nappies, as the scottish in me prefers to call them}.

Apologies to all those of you for whom this is irrelevant - you don't have to keep reading this incredibly long post! I *promise* to have a finished knit to show you sometime very soon, as well as a new project or two...with colour...so be sure to come back :) Until then, check out whipup's crafty contribution to blog action day.

This, like so many other environmental issues, is perhaps a little controversial and I am fully supportive of the idea that it is also a very personal decision based on many different factors {cost and convenience to name but a few}. I'm not intending to start a debate about the merits of each :: I just think it may be helpful for other soon-to-be parents contemplating disposables vs. reusables to share some of the resources that I've come across so far and the different options available...spreading awareness, so to speak. And to be completely honest, we are still extremely confused about which route we will take, so any advice, about any of the options available, will be very welcome. And while I'm being honest, when I first considered the use of cloth nappies {when my nephew, Luca, was born last October}, it was not the environmental impact that struck me, but rather the softness of the nappy that the hospital had provided for him.

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THE FITTED
totsbots {UK-based or shop online}
+ cotton, organic cotton, microfibre and bamboo fitted diapers, worn with a flushable liner and a waterproof wrap
+ our reusable choice - both the micro-fibre and bamboo versions are naturally anti-bacterial and much more absorbent than cotton, as well as being incredibly soft - bamboo is an eco-friendly material that grows naturally without the need for chemical pesticides or fertilizer, is highly sustainable, easily cultivated and completely biodegradable - microfibre dries very quickly and negates the need for using the dryer - a little concerned about the sheer number we will need, the laundry that will be generated and the high inital cost

THE HYBRID
gdiapers {available at whole foods or shop online}
+ the 'hybrid' - a breathable cloth diaper with disposable, bio-degradable, plastic-free inserts that can be flushed, composted or tossed
+ for an interesting comparision of dispoables | reusables | hybrids and some environmental statistics, see the great debate
+ our alternate option - eco-friendly, convenient and generate limited laundry {less power, less water}, however the inserts are more expensive than disposables

THE PREFOLD
bummis {see site for list of retailers}
+ cotton prefolds and nylon covers, as well as a one-size, all-in-one

THE ALL-IN-ONE
motherease {see site for ordering information}
+ cotton prefold diapers, fitted diapers, covers, liners, all-in-ones and one-size-fits-all
+ cost analysis and sample calculations

THE FOLD-YOUR-OWN
mothercare {UK based}
+ carry all supplies required for folding your own diapers

OTHERS
smart nappy system {similar to gdiapers}, kushies, bambino mio

I haven't included a section about different brands of disposables as many seem to be quite similar in price and functionality, although there are chlorine-free diapers on the market which may have a lower environmental impact.

Some other considerations...
+ using a diaper service vs. laundering on your own
+ is laundering 7000 cloth diapers over the first two years of a child's like actually less harmful to the environment than adding 7000 diapers to a landfil?
+ some regional councils in the UK have started incentive programs for switching to reusables and may even provide a partial reimbursement of costs
+ this one seems a little daunting to me, but what about going diaper-free with the use of elimination communication?
+ make your own cloth diapers {my sister/mother-in-law did this and they turned out really well}