Thank you so much for your sweet comments and for listening. Saying things 'out loud' has an amazing way of calming the soul and while sharing something so deeply personal and being so honest instilled a little bit of fear in my heart, it turns out that hitting the 'save' button was something I really needed to do. My heart is a little lighter and maybe even a little excited about what's to come. That is something I'm very ready to embrace.
My little monkeypants* however, is not feeling very well at all. She's all feverish and grumpy and not eating and coughing and sniffing and sobbing and well, it's just awful. This is the second time she's had a cold and the first time I've ever seen her this unwell, my heart is aching for her. It makes me wonder how much my heart will ache when she is old enough to have heartache all of her own, when her sweet smile and her beautiful innocence are challenged by that big bad world out there. Okay, so the world isn't all bad, but sometimes I do wonder just how crazy things might get...
*monkeypants :: ella's new nickname because she absolutely LOVES this book, plus it has the sweetest illustrations by Hiroe Nakata. and the monkey pyjamas are just too cute.
I read your last post a couple of days ago. I thought you were very eloquent. But I couldn't find any words to write back to you. I marked your post as unread and let it sit hoping I'd find the words. They still won't come though. But I'm glad to hear that in writing, it has helped you. I know that in the past, writing has been cathartic for me. Sending you positive thoughts.
Posted by: Kuky | June 21, 2009 at 04:24 AM
wish you well, little monkeypants!
Posted by: ulli | June 21, 2009 at 06:11 AM
she is so beautiful... i thought so when i saw the first picture of her that you posted, seems so long ago...
through your absence from this blog i felt you need time for yourself, now i'm glad you're back. with words and inspiration and ideas and plans...
thank you for being so sincere and open and just true.
we all need to hear we are not alone in being not perfect.
best wishes to you and your loved ones!
Posted by: Neža | June 22, 2009 at 12:12 PM
i can totally relate...the first time when my daughter fell really ill, i was so stressed and worried!
hope you can relax and that she gets well real soon. =)
Posted by: joanna | June 23, 2009 at 02:09 AM
She's just gorgeous Ali. :)
Posted by: Margo Morgan | June 27, 2009 at 07:49 PM
she's perfect, just perfect
Posted by: Melissa | June 28, 2009 at 07:17 PM