adjusting, slowly

Another unexpected absence. A couple of very exhausting weeks later and I'm finally home, trying to regain a little normality. A little structure. Something resembling how things 'used to be'. Finally feeling like there is a little life growing inside me. Embracing the fluttery kicks and expanding belly. Slowly adjusting to the old + the new. Awaiting the desire to create...

Twenty-two weeks and the nausea has subsided, but only with the help of medication. It is a very small dose, but each time I try to get by without, it comes back full force. The doctor feels it is more important to ensure the baby is getting the nutrition it needs, but I'm still a little disappointed that my pregnancy hasn't been as natural as I would have liked. I'm happy to do whatever is best for our little one, though, and am comforted by the increasingly powerful and unexpected little kicks that are sprinkled throughout my day.

I am anxiously awaiting inspiration, the desire to create something, anything. I feel absolutely drained of all creative energy and can't seem to focus on even the simplest of projects. I always envisioned being able to lovingly create things for my own little one as an incredibly special and meaningful time. Right now this dream seems a little out of reach and I can't help feeling lost + overwhelmed. Perhaps a little more time is all that is needed...until then I will try not to be so neglectful of all things that require me to turn on my computer {this has been somewhat of a struggle over the past few weeks}. Email. Flickr. Bloglines.

Comments

[Jennifer]

Hi! I simply want to offer you some encouragement. That little life in you is your most important job. Trust me, once your little one is born, it will matter much less that you didn't have everything just right before it's arrival.

My son is 14 months old now. I finished the wall hangings for his room just in time for his baptism at 4 months old! And we'd moved while I was pregnant!

Hang in there! It's worth all the sickness (I didn't have it as bad as you, but I threw up every time I brushed my teeth for over four months!) and tired and foggy and yucky feelings now. When you do start to feel a little better, there is much that can be done to prepare for life with a newborn. I'd be happy to offer advice, let me know if/when you want to hear it. I can email it to you instead of sharing it with all.

It always helped me to focus on the tiny little life inside! So precious. And that little one depends on your body for everything it needs. It's such a miracle!

[leslie]

you'll get there. and if you don't get a burst of energy, think of all the handmade goodies you can then justify buying! : )

[Kuky]

I know exactly how you feel! Hopefully your creative juices will return soon. But remember you aren't doing nothing. You are creating, you are growing a little one inside.

[Nitasha]

I've been reading your blog but haven't posted on your lovely blog before - just wanted to say sorry you've been feeling so unwell, it must be very hard especially when some people have easy pregnancies. But I'm sure things will improve - and like the other readers say, the most important thing is that all is progressing well. Wish you the very best,