baby toes and bloomers
she laughs and smiles
and has her daddy's gorgeous almond-shaped eyes :: my beautiful japanese/canadian/scottish little girl, who just got her US passport in the mail, ready for our trip home to canada {a passport for a three month old :) still makes me giggle!}
{size 6 months, from this book}
Over the past week, Ella has started to sleep through the night. Well, from nine in the evening until four or five in the morning when she has a snack and then she continues to sleep until eight or nine. I'm not sure if this is a normal development for an eleven week old, but let's just say that I feel very lucky that she's such a good sleeper. Now if only I could sleep as well as she does. I'm having a very hard time falling asleep after her five o'clock feeding and have gotten into the habit of creeping into the studio and immersing myself in one of the many projects that got 'shelved' while I was pregnant. These early mornings have allowed me to finally finish this little top in a gorgeous grey and cream polka dot fabric from superbuzzy. The sleeves are 3/4 length, which I think is adorably stylish on babies, especially in the warmer weather we've been having lately. The silk charcoal ribbon is attached with a small snap so it can be removed for washing. I didn't align the polka dots very well while sewing so the hem looks a little uneven {although it is actually straight} but I'm okay with it. I just feel so good to have that little bit of time to get things done, in the still quiet of the early morning. Even if I am slightly sleep deprived!
Oh my.
It's been a while.
Although it really doesn't feel like it's been so long.
But I have missed this space and I'm excited to be here once again. What's most important though, is that I finally feel ready. Recovering from the c-section and all that Ella's birth entailed has been a slow process, charged with raw emotion, full of uncertainty, amazement and love. Someday soon I will share more about this, but for now I think I'll just say that becoming a mother has been the scariest, toughest and most beautiful experience I have ever had. And just for the record, I wouldn't change a single second of it.
So here's the reason I can't get anything done :: I can't stop looking at Ella. Perhaps this is all part of the phenomenon of being a new mother? All I know is that each moment of my day is spent trying to capture every smile, every coo and every adorable little laugh, not to mention her fingers, toes, cheeks and that gorgeous baby smell. Does it ever end?
{thank you}
:: to all of you who have emailed or commented to congratulate us on the arrival of ella - this online community never ceases to amaze me, the kindness of your words means so much to me
:: to two very special people that I have never met before, but whose advice and support will always remain close to my heart, as will their beautiful handmade gifts for ella who will no doubt cherish them for many years to come
an incredibly cute oobee from onegirl
the most beautiful, not to mention perfectly made, bloomers and kimono top from 6.5 st
crossover jacket :: ‘essential baby’ by debbie bliss, 0-3 month size
yarn :: debbie bliss baby cashmerino [2 balls] in dusky pink
pants | bloomers :: pattern from this book, with a ribbon-tied waist and elastic in the legs
fabric :: natural linen and ‘spring flowers’ in pink from superbuzzy
sizing :: for a newborn, reduce the pattern for the smallest size by 25% - with a drawstring waist and elastic in the legs they should fit as pants for the first month and then as bloomers for a couple of weeks after that {for a baby smaller than Ella - she's already 11lbs and very long, at only 26 days!}
There is something so sweet and so lovely about dressing a tiny baby in clothes that you have made, knowing that each stitch, knit or sewn, is formed with love and adoration. From the very beginning until the very end, planning baby ella’s wardrobe provided a place for my heart to go when things became that little bit too overwhelming or stressful. In my last few days of pregnancy, laden with anticipation, oh so uncomfortable and overcome with sickness yet again, I escaped one last time into the haven of ella’s wardrobe. The kimono-style top was a quick and relaxing knit, which I’d love to knit again in a charcoal grey, especially with those ¾ length sleeves. The pants | bloomers were also quick, although not quite as relaxing – by the time the pattern was traced, the fabric cut and the pieces pinned, my contractions were becoming more and more powerful. And that is why the ‘spring flower’ pants are tied on the side instead of the middle. I managed to sew the original opening for the ribbon tie closed and then sewed through my finger and fingernail. I was surprisingly calm throughout the whole thing – it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the contractions did and in an effort to put my husband at ease [after calling him over to help me get the needle out], I promised to finish sewing as quickly as possible. Which meant there wasn’t time for finding the seam ripper and some improvisation was needed. Ella arrived 48 hours later, her little outfit finished and ready to take her home in.
ella, looking like a little angel :: 10 days old and growing like a weed :)
{photograph taken by daddy}
ella midori
born :: january 31, 2008 at 1:20 pm
weight :: 8 lbs 5oz
after 22 very intense hours of induction/labour, baby ella was {finally} delivered by c-section
although not at all what was planned or imagined, her birth was the most magical, amazing and emotional experience of my life :: i am filled with more love and admiration than i ever thought possible
a little more time to recover and i'll be back :)
Another long lapse between posts. Partly because I now have to walk {waddle} about 15 minutes in order to access the internet. Partly because impatience has taken hold of me in the worst way. I just can't bring myself to spend time doing anything that requires concentrating. Or walking. Or sitting. Or waiting. Or reading. The discomfort of being 38 weeks pregnant is turning me into a big baby, which I'm not very proud of, but I can't seem to help myself. Sleep is non-existent. Comfort is a thing of the past. All I can focus on is the overwhelming anticipation of finally getting to meet my little daughter (which will hopefully be very soon). The anticipation is accompanied by a strangely calm nervousness about what my body is about to go through. While questioning my tolerance to pain, and all else that labour + birth will bring, accepting it as inevitable but purposeful is helping me keep it all in perspective. In other words, I'm not freaking out just yet. But don't hold me to that. There's still time!
Things may remain quiet around here for the next few weeks, but I do have some things to share so I will try to get another post in before littleone makes her arrival. Until then, know that I am sending warm thoughts your way and wishing I had even just a little bit of patience to catch up on all those lovely posts + photos I've been neglecting.
and warmest wishes for 2008!
We are still packing + moving + cleaning + unpacking. Slowly getting closer to finishing. Soon.
Moving while being 34 weeks pregnant has not been much fun :: only being able to do a tenth of what I would normally do, but still being exhausted and unable to move with backache by the end of the day has made me grumpy. Very grumpy. So has sleeping on an air mattress for two nights in a row. I should mention that the air mattress has a hole in it, which we have spent hours trying to find, and needs to be blown up with an air pump that sounds like a chain saw every two hours. Even littleone protested at the noise by vigorously kicking me in the ribs.
And then there's Oscar, our cat. He's being a little monster and his behavior seems to be directed towards me and only me. Biting me, scratching me, pouncing on my belly, pawing {and biting} my face to wake me up, meowing non-stop at all hours, following me everywhere. We've tried him on three different types of food, he gets lots of attention and is completely healthy. He is cute + cuddly with J and even the dog. I'm sure he senses that something is going on, I'm just not sure if it's the move or the pregnancy that's bothering him. We've moved several times while we've had him and he's always been very adaptable. Has anyone else noticed behavioral changes in their cat while being pregnant?
The kitty in this doesn't seem quite so bad, when compared to Oscar's current antics. Minus the baseball bat, of course!
In other news, I'm happy to say that I now have a slightly more stylish appearance than described last time. My vow not to buy anymore maternity clothes, in favor of pajamas, yoga pants and my husbands' t-shirts was broken. Not because I wanted to break the vow, but because I've - no, the belly - has grown out of everything resembling clothing in our house. The remedy :: a quick visit to Gap Maternity, some semi-stylish jeans and a couple of black tops to {hopefully} get me through the next six weeks. I'm going to leave out the part that preceded the trip to Gap, the part that involved crying on the floor of our walk-in closet. Ah, hormones, I'll miss you when this is over. Nobody else will. Just me.
I'll try not to be so grumpy next time, but sometimes you just need to vent, you know? Even if it's about silly things, like an extremely annoying cat or wardrobe issues or a leaky air mattress. One thing I have discovered over the past couple of weeks is that pregnancy is ridiculous + hilarious + embarrassing + utterly nerve-wracking, all at the same time :: sometimes the best way to deal with it is to vent and then laugh at how ridiculous it all sounds.
