the dotted line

home

[first, thank you for all of your sweet comments and emails, they mean so much to me...]

::scenes of soho, both taken by my husband::

I've been home from NYC for some time now and I'm shocked it's taken me so long to finally finish this post. When we got back we had to deal with some complications with our 'littlest one', and after many tears, far too much talking with doctors and family, in addition to the severe nausea and sickness that plagues me, I'm feeling drained and not quite myself, but okay.

New York, however, was fantastic. it was wonderful to spend time, just the two of us, visiting with friends, eating good food, seeing the sights, shopping, reconnecting with each other, realizing that we are the same in so many ways - admittedly, we missed our little girl so much that we spent those elusive hours before sleep looking back over two years of photos and videos of her, all teary-eyed and gushy.

We stayed at my husband's aunt's apartment in Soho - little did I know that she lives just one block from Purl and Purl Patchwork. Yes, I squealed with excitement when I realized this. And yes, this also caused me to spend far too much money. Not to mention the fact that it is next door to a wonderful little bakery, Once Upon A Tart, which has the loveliest chocolate and walnut tarts. And just a couple of blocks away from Dean and Deluca. And a ten minute walk from Magnolia. Now that I think about it, even with all of the nausea and sickness, we had a lot of fun eating...all of these, except Billy's Bakery, were just a few minutes away from the apartment which made it even better - it's bad enough being cranky, pregnant and sick without being hungry, too!

Dos Caminos Soho {the best guacamole ever followed by honey roasted pork with mole sauce and sweet potato mash} 

Kelley and Pings {salt + pepper shrimp, thai chicken curry, roasted tilapia with baby bok choy - everything I was craving, all at the same time}

Cubana Cafe {roasted red snapper with spicy mango salsa, whipped plantains and roasted corn with chipotle mayo and cotija cheese - and they made me non-alcoholic mojoitos, which made my night}

Lupa's {homemade lemon soda, spaghetti con aglio, olio, pomodoro and peperoncino - simple and yummy - but in my eyes nothing beats Italian food in Italy}

Noho Star for brunch {bruschetta of soft scrambled eggs with roasted tomatoes, goats cheese, drizzled with fresh pesto - yum}

Billy's Bakery {the chocolate cake with vanilla icing made this cranky pregnant person with tired feet very happy indeed} 

We also went to see the Tim Burton exhibit at MoMA which would have been amazing but it was so, so busy that we could barely see anything - I bought the catalog though, as well as his new book so that I can try to make sense of the little glimpses that we did get. And of course, all of the other typical NY things to do...

Today, I am quietly putting the finishing touches on my package for the holiday traditions exchange so soon I'll be able to share it with you...

love, lollipops, crochet and...

a little surprise.

I've been feeling quiet lately. Some wonderful things have been happening, but all of the excitement has left me short on words. Overwhelmed. And craving some quiet time. To knit. And think. The knitting is slow, just a row every now and then. Its stitches are dark and elusive, refusing to be photographed, so soft and so light, yet laced with thoughts and feelings that will be forever held within its fabric. It seems there is a pattern emerging. Do you remember what happened the last time I started to knit for myself? Well, although it is very early still, history is repeating itself. But this time I can keep knitting. After all, what would be better to caress a baby bump than an ever-so-soft and light-as-a-feather cardigan? 

{love}

Ella fills our hearts with so much love each and every day. We just can't get over what an amazing little person she is becoming. It was only a matter of time before we would start to think that maybe, just maybe, we should do it all over again, right? Due to my family history, as well as some of my own health concerns, we've always known that if we wanted to have children, we would have to have them in quick succession. It took us just over a year to conceive Ella, so we weren't quite planning to have {a little surprise} only a month after thinking we should definitely do this all over again. But there you go. Life works in the most mysterious ways. The timing is a little crazy, because I have some other very exciting things happening, too, but I am embracing the spontaneity. Even if it is making me somewhat overwhelmed and at a loss for words.

{lollipops}

Ah. Lollipops. My salvation. You may remember that I had severe all-day-and-all-night sickness the first time around. It seems as though the same will be true this time. Although the much cooler weather here is making it a lot easier to cope with, feeling perpetually nauseated and barely keeping any food down is getting old. Very quickly. I am surviving on a mix of saltine crackers, crystallized ginger, lemon water, diclectin and gravol, both on doctor's orders. Strangely enough, lollipops are the only thing that seem to keep the nausea at bay. But I am running out. Fast. The only ones we had in the house were from my grandfather - he gave them to Ella when he saw her last, but she is still so little, so I've been saving them for her. Until now. Now, they're almost all gone. Shocking, since I very rarely eat sweets {but when faced with debilitating nausea or all of my teeth falling out, my pregnancy-logic dictates that a visit to the dentist is much more enjoyable than being slung over a toilet seat 24/7}. So i have been searching for a new supply of lollipops. And all I can find are the icky, syrupy, too colorful, too sweet ones. The ones my grandfather gave us came in three flavors - coke with lemon, cherry vanilla and apple mango - and inside is a swirl of fizzy powder, which provided just the right amount of sourness to combat the nausea. They were perfect. But I can't seem to buy them anywhere.

{crochet} 

Not only do I need a supply of lollipops, but I also need someone to teach me how to crochet. Now. Really. Now. For so long I have admired these beautiful crocheted blankets...

sandra juto

yvestown

{and lots more, but since it is midnight, I will link to them another time}

...and now that I have another little one coming along, who will no doubt be taking over the crib, I'd really like to make a special blanket for Ella's first bed. There are the beginnings of a tutorial that I'd really like to follow, but I haven't the faintest idea how to crochet. I'm not sure if 'teaching myself to crochet' can quite fit on my already over-loaded list of things to accomplish, but as the nesting urge grows stronger it will no doubt climb the list very quickly. Unless I can find someone to teach me, in which case, I will drop everything. 

Everything but the search for lollipops.

Next time I hope to have captured those dark and elusive stitches so I can show you just how soft and lovely this cardigan is turning out to be...and perhaps a couple of glimpses of all these exciting things that are yet to be revealed... 

all grown up

Well, not quite all grown up, but she's definitely not so much of a baby any more. 

She changed so much last week. I can't quite get my head around it yet. She is becoming so independent, yet she's also affectionate in a deliberate way {when it suits her, of course!}. She says 'I love you' {more like 'yuv you'} and 'No, Mama, don't! ' {with perfect pronunciation - can you guess which one she says more often?}. She tries very hard to dress herself. And insists on wearing sunglasses inside. She also has a tattoo. A temporary one. From the day she spent in childcare last week. And she has painted finger nails and toe nails. From when Daddy was baby-sitting and let her play with my make-up bag. She had her hair cut at a salon for the first time, after I butchered it and inadvertently gave her a mullet. She has started to sleep so much better. Which makes me very happy. She carefully selects and reads fives books before going to sleep each night. She recognizes when she's tired and asks to take an afternoon nap. She only eats very flavorful food...sushi, vietnamese, dim sum, curry. She chose to eat a ladybug over the very yummy macaroni and cheese casserole that I made her for lunch the other day. I'm trying not to think of what that means about my cooking. She is obsessed with her new Charley Harper puzzle and yesterday spent four hours straight taking each one out and fitting it back in. The temper tantrum that ensued when she had to stop for dinner was not pretty. Needless to say she didn't eat any dinner and instead worked on her puzzle, then collapsed in an exhausted heap. She is also quite obsessive about writing. She likes to draw, with pencils and crayons and chalk, but when it comes to writing, she MUST use a pen. I didn't know that at 21 months there would be a difference between drawing and writing, but there is. Her drawings are bright, full of squiggles and swirls and are added to all day long. The sheets of paper migrate from the floor to the table to her desk to my desk. Her writing however, is very intense - small dark markings, deliberate strokes, all in black pen. She lies on the floor, hunched over her paper, her face almost touching it and she fills the page with markings for at least half an hour. This was on my desk this morning. 

Despite her intensity when it comes to certain things, she is such a lovely, funny, sweet little girl who steals my heart each and every day. And with her increasing independency, life is getting a little easier. There are more moments in the day. I can be more deliberate in how I spend my time. And with the onset of cooler weather, the desire to sit with hot tea and some knitting has been creeping into my heart. I even made an appearance on ravelry for the first time in a very long time, added far too many projects to my 'must knit' list {as always} and after seeing this {so beautiful!}, I thought that maybe I should start by making my idea of the perfect cardigan. Sheer. Black. 3/4 length sleeves. For layering with. And for cuddling in. I discovered this amazing project. Became inspired. Ordered a kusha-kusha scarf kit to satisfy the craving of working with Habu again. I also decided to take a leap into the unknown and go ahead with something that is just as exciting as it is nerve-wracking to me. But if it works, it will allow me to stay at home with Ella and surround myself with all the things I love. To distract myself from thinking about it, I booked a trip to New York to celebrate our birthdays at the end of this month. So yes. These moments have been productive, inspiring and sometimes creative...catching my breath, being deliberate and watching this girl grow. So wonderful.

snow day

Forgive me. 

I couldn't stop at just one. Or two. 

Although slightly embarrassed that Ella looks like a walking advertisement for babyGap*, I love every single one of these shots. This was just one of those days full of unexpected, beautiful moments. A day where no plans were made. A day where the list of things to do was completely ignored. A day of throwing snow, eating snow and rolling in snow. A day of baking bread and biscotti and then falling asleep each others arms, bathed in the late-afternoon sunshine that streams through our living room window. A day without crying, temper tantrums and uneaten meals. A day that was all about smiling and cuddling and laughing and tickling and loving. A day that brought sheer delight. To both of us. A day that needed to be captured and savored. 

*It's not that I have anything against BabyGap, it's just that I don't think Ella has ever worn an entire outfit from there. Ella's wardrobe is very modest and is a mix of handmade items, select pieces from small independent designers {our favorite local shop is Purr Petite}, and some staples from H+M {favorite black and charcoal leggings, simple cardigans}, plus a couple of things from babyGap and the Joe line from a national supermarket. I try to be selective about the clothes I buy for Ella, financially as well as aesthetically - black leggings, a simple cotton top or dress with a hand-knit cardigan is a favorite outfit in our house...comfortable, cozy and not too 'sugary'. Of course I would love for Ella's wardrobe to be full of handmade pieces. Looking back, I thought about this a lot, but somewhere between the complicated pregnancy, emergency c-section and feeling so blue for months afterwards, I lost sight of this and never quite got around to making any of those plans a reality. I'm thinking of revisiting those plans soon. Starting with a hat and mitttens in the color of crushed blackberries, if such a yarn exists anywhere outside of my own head...

**On a completely unrelated note, does anyone else find it extremely creepy that the street view on Google Earth has become so advanced that you can see through the windows of houses? Last night we were looking up directions to a local business, and just for kicks clicked on the street view of our house - the 360 photo was so detailed that you could see our computer through the window of our studio as well as through the windows of our bedroom. I'm not sure what to think of this. It does make me feel quite uncomfortable, though. Not to mention worried about what the future holds...

my creative space v

finally, a glimpse of our new studio...although there are still stacks of paper work to sort and lots of things to hang on the walls, i'm very excited to have a space to create in again...and somewhere to squirrel away all of my favorite fabrics, yarns, books and papers, so they aren't living in boxes anymore! i especially love my new table - there is space beneath the glass to store all kinds of things, while still having them visible, almost like a very big shadow box. i am also loving the glass doors on the new cabinet - perfect for keeping little fingers away from all kinds of art + craft supplies while i'm out of the room - without them, our house would be scattered with books, mosaic tiles, balls of tangled yarn and all kinds of sewing supplies. ella's most favorite thing to do these days is empty things...our bookcases, the recycling box, the pantry...but she doesn't quite understand how to put things back yet, so much of my day is spent putting things away, over and over. when i'm in the studio though, i open up the doors to the cabinet and let her play with all the treasures inside - anything that is unsafe is kept out of her reach. i love giving her the freedom to explore however she wishes - once she's emptied the shelves, she'll sit quietly with a quilting or knitting book and look at each page, reading aloud to herself and then move on to the chalkboard and basket of fabric and paper scraps that i keep for her. although the room is very tiny and also serves as my husband's photography studio, i decided to set up a little corner just for ella so that she has a special place all of her own, full of pencils and chalk and paper and fabric, perfect for creating side by side.

see some more creative spaces here...

favorite things [ii]

so i had this long post {full of photos and links of my favorite packaging supplies} planned for today...but we had our first snowfall of the year and instead of taking pictures, ella and i have been making snow angels, sprinkling powdery soft snow on each other's heads and drinking our first hot chocolate together {i make hot chocolate using one tablespoon of snuggle up chocolate cocoa mix and one tablespoon of dagoba chili and cinnamon xocolatl whisked into hot milk - yum!}. sometimes you just have to give in to those special moments, even if it means letting certain things go ahead, but not quite as planned. so here is a list of just a few of my favorite packaging supplies + resources...

+ masking tape {pictured above} - i love decorating boxes and envelopes with these beautiful washi tapes, so lovely!

+ russell + hazel rubber bands {pictured above} - you can barely see them in the photo, but they are big + have such cute designs on them. i use mine to hold the pages of my notebooks, but they would also be great to use on gifts or to package stacks of CDs together

+ clipiola clips {pictured above} - i use these all the time, mostly just for clipping documents together, but sometimes i combine them with japanese papers to make cards and wrap gifts 

+ cross-cut shredder - we try to recycle as much as we can, so after we have collected a stack of papers and magazines, i pick out the nicest sheets, shred them and use them in place of bubble wrap to protect little gifts that i'm mailing {when i got my address file from lovely design a couple of weeks ago, i was so happy that it too was protected by some shredded recyclables, such a nice touch!}

+ labels + boxes - from paper source, i especially love their bookbinding supplies and kits as well as their selection of paper + envelopes

+ glassine bags, baker's twine and pretty garland - ez of creature comforts just launched her new shop, nice package, today - so pretty! and there's always lots of inspiration at the nice package flickr group, too

+ tags from bananafish studios, plus lots of other packaging ideas and a wonderful collection of tape at oh, hello friend {not to mention the lovely package exchange and the flickr group}

+ simply packaging + fingerprint - i love these two books about packaging and handmade elements in graphic design, the designers they profile are so creative

there is so much more...but i must get back to cuddling with ella, we're keeping each other warm on this cold afternoon!

favorite things [i]

:: some favorite things :: 

+ white uzumaki watermark tissue paper that i have treasured for a long time. it reminds me of a spider's web, delicate and transparent in appearance yet strong and fibrous in construction. i'm not sure i will ever do anything with it, other than admire light filtering through its swirling fibres and think of the beautiful little shop in montreal where i found it. 

+ linen that always seems to be on my table. because it is the perfect linen. and because i adore the way natural linen looks, with its woven texture, frayed edges and rough selvedge. and how it makes other things look beautiful, by just sitting near them. and how each fold seems to hold its own inspiration and is destined to be something special. and how it makes me want to spend hours coveting all that linnet has to offer {and ordering some linen chambray, linen thread and some sweet buttons - just how beautiful is their photography?} 

+ spoons and chopstick holders, the tiniest pieces of my collection of japanese ceramics. i have collected little bits + pieces like this for as long i can remember. i couldn't resist these little spoons - the pattern on the first is just like the swirls on the uzumaki tissue, the second is like the sakura blossom pattern that is on my wedding ring, and the third reminds me of sashiko embroidery, something that i would love to do more of, starting with this.

i love to make pretty packages, so tomorrow, my favorite packaging + stationary supplies...

making for daddy

Yesterday I bought Ella her first set of watercolors - amazingly she knew just what to do when we opened them up, dipping her brush into the water and then into the paint. We decided to make some pretty paper for wrapping daddy's birthday presents. Within seconds of starting, Ella gave up her brush and used her fingers. After a couple of minutes of frenzied painting, she tried to drink the colored water, calling it 'juice' and proceeded to paint her feet. I think her attention span was all used up in making the first sheet of wrapping paper because after painting her feet she went into her bedroom, brought out her favorite book, plopped down next to the sheet that was drying and read 'My First Book of Sushi' aloud. In her own words, of course. 

I *love* that she loves reading books more than anything else...and maybe someday she'll love painting and creating as much as I do :)

my creative space iv

our studio is finally finished {yay!} but today there is no light to photograph it so here are a few shots of the dining table instead...these were taken a couple of days ago while i was unpacking some boxes for the studio and sorting through some of my favorite things - a box full of paper scraps, some beautiful linen and some japanese tissue paper. added to the pile are a couple of test-prints from our new printer that was finally delivered a few days ago. {eek, this photo shows just how unevenly i cut ella's hair! this is the second time i've attempted to cut her hair...the first time was a disaster...she's just so wriggly and i don't think she'd sit still for ANYONE, so a salon is out of the question...}

some more japanese papers, fabric from auntie cookie, a box full of envelopes, ribbon and papers leftover from making my sister's wedding invitations {i've been meaning to write about them for so long, maybe next week?}...it has taken many weeks of assembling furniture and slowly unpacking boxes to finally finish our {shared} studio - one of the things i've loved most about the process has been rediscovering all of my favorite bits + pieces that i've collected over the years...i'd love to share some of them with you, so i think i will post 'a favorite thing' for each day next week, and perhaps by thursday i'll be showing you my new creative space :)

my creative space iii :: a day late

so, my creative space is yet to be finished, but it will be, soon... 

{hopefully...}

{fingers-crossed...}

{who am i kidding?!...}

i finally got around to cutting many squares out of these prints

{these are some of my favorite images since i started 'the dotted line' - i would love to see them everyday, so i created this photo collage to frame and hang in my new studio. i love how the images look together and i was thinking of making another one, perhaps to giveaway...but i have no idea if anyone would want one of these other than me!}

this is where my replacement* printer will be - for now, my new and oh-so-lovely address file from lovelydesign sits here for me to admire 

{it is so beautifully made...i love it and i'm so looking forward to a few quiet hours to transfer my contacts from my very useful but not quite as pretty ipod touch...of course, i'll also be daydreaming of getting another for all of my favorite recipes...which makes me think of the future and how i would love to pass down a beautiful, well-loved collection of recipes to ella...}

*a very long story involving a new printer, a replacement, and now, a second replacement that is currently stranded at the purolator office...the frustration! this week has been one of those weeks...